Laboring away...

Well, I have finally hit 36 weeks and what an eventful couple of days it has been leading up to that. With the end in sight I am becoming more and more of a nervous wreck every day, something that the past few days has not helped in the slightest. Quite the opposite.

It all started just a couple of days ago, Tuesday. I tried so so hard to get the house clean and begin to get things ready for this baby to come with little progress. Every time I stood and tried to clean, I'd take a couple of steps and have such horrific back pain, I had to return to sitting somewhere. I was pretty unsure of where this pain was coming from other than to think maybe the baby had begun to drop slightly.

The answer as to why came Wednesday. I noticed it first that evening, around 6, when my very irregular but strong 'braxton hicks' contractions starting becoming all to regular, hitting me about every 10 minutes exactly. Everyone had advice as to what to do. Some said I should call the doctor and get to the hospital. So, what did I do? Timed my contraction til about 10 that night, then headed to bed hoping that a good nights rest would relax me enough to stop or at least slow down the contractions.

Oh how very wrong I was. I woke up through the night a few times because of contractions and when I finally got up that morning, began timing my contractions again. They were now about 5-6 minutes apart. Oh boy. After about an hour of timing them and seeing yet again the consistancy, I started to panic on and off for a bit again debating what to do now. I arranged for my mom to come pick up Mia (after she volunteered to do so, ha) and soon before she came to get her, finally gave in and called the doctors office.

Once I was able to speak to a nurse and tell her what was going on, she advised me to head to the hospital to be monitored for a while. I called Jason right away, panicing and crying yet again and he volunteered to come home and go with me. As soon as he got home, we headed to the hospital, got checked in, hooked up to all the monitors and all checked out by the nurse. She began to tell me after 2 minutes in the room it looked like I was having what they like to call 'irritability pains', whatever that is. She checked me and said I was 40% effaced and dialated to a 1. She explained they'd leave me there for an hour, and check again to see if I had made any progress. If I had, I'd stay there, otherwise they'd just send me home.

After the hour was up, the nurse came back in the room and quickly after checking the monitors said yes I was having a lot of contractions, surprise surprise. Once checked again she said I hadn't really changed much and sent me home. She said she wasn't to sure what was going on, if I was in active labor or not that at that point, it was hard to tell. She gave me the list of what would make me return to the hospital and we were on our way.

The contractions stayed pretty consistant throughout the rest of the day and progressively got stronger and stronger. I headed to my once a month Bonco night only to feel the contractions get stronger and stronger still as we played and began to feel like they were coming more often throughout the night. I came home and again, tried to get some sleep. After laying in bed for about an hour I finally fell asleep and actually stayed asleep for a whole hour and 1/2.

I began timing my contractions again at about 2 in the morning. Contractions that had gotten pretty strong and that combined with my lack of sleep cause yet another 'break down'. I timed them for about an hour noticing them to be about 2-3 minutes apart and quite strong. Again the battle of what to do.

Now, here I am. Nearly 5:30 Friday morning, haven't been back to sleep since I woke up at 1:30 because of the constant contraction and extreme nervousness. I feel so nervous and anxious. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and will try my best to hang in until then so as to not be sent to the hospital just to immediately go home again. I am so nervous that they will just make me go home and I don't think I can handle more nights and days of constant contractions. Yet, I'm also extremely nervous that I will have progressed enough to stay and have her tomorrow.

Am I really ready for this? 4 weeks early am I ready to have another baby girl and ready to be a mom for yet the 2nd time. I love both my girls more than anything and want more than anything to meet this sweet little princess, but I am just such a nervous wreck at the prospect of her arriving this soon and starting over with a newborn this soon. I guess all I can do now is pray lots and wait until i can know for sure what is going on and if she's coming now or later. Can't wait to find out! Maybe then i'll be able to get a little sleep.